When I walk labyrinths, I usually prefer to do it alone. It’s a private, individual experience for me. Just me and the labyrinth. And God. And my shadow side. But no other people. It feels alone, but not lonely. On those occasions when there’s someone walking nearby, or in the vicinity, it feels strange, awkward. I feel somehow vulnerable when I’m walking a labyrinth, like that person might be judging me for doing something so odd.

Maybe that’s a normal feeling. Maybe it’s normal to feel like other people are judging you, I don’t know. Maybe we always worry about what others think of us, and the irony is that they’re too busy worried about what we think of them to even notice what we’re doing.

But there’s a middle ground between walking a labyrinth all by myself, and walking one when someone else is watching from outside. There’s also walking a labyrinth with other people. I’ve done that a few times, and I always find it different. Certainly none of the others in the group are judging me for walking in circles, because they’re also walking the labyrinth themselves. But it still feels different. It’s harder for me to get completely into my typical “labyrinth zone.” It’s harder for me to focus. My thoughts don’t go quite as intense as when I’m alone. It’s not a bad experience, just different. More of a time of quiet and peace, less of a spiritual epiphany. There’s a place for that.

And I had such a place a few weeks ago.

I walked a labyrinth with a group that day, and it was a remarkable experience. In fact, it was a remarkable experience beyond just the labyrinth walk itself. We spent about two hours together as a group. I was invited to be the guest speaker for a wonderful event at the Biddle Mission Park in Carlisle. I got connected with the folks who ran the event thanks to this blog.

You see, I walked the labyrinth at Biddle Mission Park three years ago when I was on one of my labyrinth trips. And through this blog post, some people in Carlisle found out about my walk, they read a few of my other blog posts, and reached out to me! After emailing for a while, and meeting in person earlier this year, we made a plan to host an event called “A Day of Direction.” They invited me to give a talk about labyrinths, and also to give a separate talk about my book Darkwater.

We didn’t have a huge turnout at the event, but it was a nice intimate gathering for those who attended. We walked the labyrinth together, some of us new to labyrinths, some not. We talked about what we experienced. We shared stories and memories, hopes and frustrations.

Then I shared the story I told in Darkwater, my story of faith and depression, the story I’ve shared so many times. Was it starting to feel a little old to me? Maybe. Was I wondering if the story in it had changed since I wrote Darkwater? Maybe. I’ve swum in the deep dark water several times since writing it. I’ve changed. I’ve grown. I’ve walked in circles through so many labyrinths.

One thing that really struck me in the talk was when I spoke of the Dark Voice, and I referred to him (as I often have) as someone who hates me. Certainly I understood him that way at the time I wrote Darkwater. But I’ve recently made some significant alterations to my view of him.  My talk didn’t reflect that. I wondered: am I growing out of Darkwater, into the next phase of something? What would that be? And what would it look like?

How do I rethink my talk for the future? How do I rethink the story in my book? Is it time to start exploring what another book might be?

These are good questions, and I have no answers. Luckily, I have hundreds of labyrinths out there to walk, and these questions will be good for those walks. One thing I’ve decided: I’m going to start walking the same labyrinths again, and blog about those trips too. It’s gotten to the point where I have to drive almost two hours to walk a labyrinth that’s new to me. I’m still going to try to walk new ones when I can, but I’ll fill in the gaps between them with walking familiar labyrinths again. I’ll still ask questions and look for insight and wisdom. I just have to figure out how to start numbering the posts!

It’s so good to walk labyrinths. And I learned anew at the Day of Direction that it’s so good to walk labyrinths with other people sometimes. Sometimes I forget how important other people are. I look forward to seeing these great people from Carlisle again someday.