Invited or Impostor?

I just received an invitation to attend the installation of the new bishop of the synod where I serve as a pastor. I feel very uncomfortable about this, and I’m really not sure what I’m going to do. Let me explain. The installation of a synod bishop is normally a huge occasion, a festive affair. … Continue reading Invited or Impostor?

The Slow Telling of a Story 6: Downtime

I've been writing these occasional essays for a little over a year. In them, I'm sharing the story of turning my manuscript into a book. It's been a long process, and every time I think it's gotten as long as it could, another thing comes up to slow it down again. Read Slow Telling 1, … Continue reading The Slow Telling of a Story 6: Downtime

How do you do it?

Every time I read a book about being Black in the United States, I become sad at the horrible way that people of color have been treated, and continue to be treated, in what is so often called "the land of the free." Every time I read an article this year about the 100th anniversary … Continue reading How do you do it?

One of My Biggest Triggers

So, I've recently discerned one of the things that continually upsets me in daily life, that causes me both anxiety and depression. It's a major trigger for me, and that's a shame, because it's almost unavoidable in everyday life. The really interesting thing about this trigger, for me, is that I have finally found something … Continue reading One of My Biggest Triggers

Sometimes Despair

Sometimes I find out just how angry people are. Sometimes I make the mistake of reading the comments. Facebook posts these days are so frequently about wearing masks, or about churches being open, or about opening businesses, or about keeping them closed. Even reading just those posts can sometimes remind me of the anger, but … Continue reading Sometimes Despair

Answering the Quaker Questions

I was recently at a meeting where the leader led us in something called the "Four Quaker Questions." A little bit of googling has led me to believe that these questions are widely used as icebreakers in religious groups, but that they have no connection whatsoever to the Society of Friends (aka the Quakers). That's … Continue reading Answering the Quaker Questions

Who Says Everything is Meaningless?

When I was a freshman in college, I lived in the "freshman dorm." Some of you might remember such things. A whole pile of 18- and 19-year-olds, just out of their nests, filled with hormones and alcohol. I remember standing outside on several frigid nights, waiting for the fire alarm to be reset after someone … Continue reading Who Says Everything is Meaningless?

The Summer of 2018

For the next month or so, I want to write about the summers in my life. I have discerned that my depression is often at a low point during the summer, which could be connected to some “small-t traumas” I have experienced throughout my life during the summer. And yet, despite that, I know that … Continue reading The Summer of 2018

How is your brain today?

People sometimes ask me, "How are you doing?" or "How are you feeling?" Sometimes, of course, it's just blah blah small talk, like all of us engage in. But sometimes, people will ask me, "How are you doing?" and I know that they're asking it regarding my mental health. They're not just saying hello, they're … Continue reading How is your brain today?

Drifting Ashes

A semi-fictional account of recent encounters with both my therapist and my spiritual director. I say "semi-fictional," because it didn't really happen quite as written below. However, it is all true in another way. Perhaps I could call it a "mythical account." We got deep into it that morning. Questions of career and direction. Questions … Continue reading Drifting Ashes