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Changing My Brain’s Oil
I’m sitting in the waiting room at the car dealer, waiting as the oil is changed and the emissions are inspected. It’s so easy to keep a vehicle maintained. Easy? Well, at least I find it to be rather simple. It takes work, and it takes time, but it’s not complicated to know what to…
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Honest Talk about Suicide
I am grateful for Sean Wellington, and for his podcast, Suicide Noted. He’s working to change the conversation. For many years, I have worked to reduce the stigma of mental illness. I talk about my own struggles with depression openly, I refer to mental illness in sermons at my church, and I even wrote a…
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Autumn, Melancholy, and Suicide
It’s the middle of autumn. November. A wintry wind has been whirling around my world the last week or so. This wind knocked the power out twice within a week, which was less than pleasant for me. A power outage is a very reliable trigger for me, one that ramps my anxiety from 0-60 in…
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Labyrinth #111: The Redemption of the Dark Voice
Before arriving at this labyrinth, I got a traffic citation for failing to follow New York’s “Move Over Law,” a law I hadn’t been aware of. I encourage you to read my retelling of that experience before reading the rest of this post. It provides vital context. After receiving that ticket, I spiraled. For the…
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A Drive Through Future Memories: From Guilt to Hope
A few weeks ago, on a Friday, I began a labyrinthine journey without knowing it. Fridays are my weekly days off, and I sometimes stay at home all day, reading, playing video games, doing a few chores. On other Fridays, I get itchy to travel, and I get in my car and just go somewhere.…
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Mindful Eating and Mindful Reading: Feeding Body and Mind
About two months ago, I made a decision. I was very unhappy with my current weight, and I was also concerned about my blood pressure, which I couldn’t seem to get under control even with medication. So my decision was to change my diet, effective immediately. I’ve lost weight in the past; at least three…
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Remembering Feryl: A Journey Through Depression and Hope
Dear Feryl, I can remember your funeral. I was there, and while I don’t remember many of the details, one in particular stands out. I’ve never forgotten that detail – the detail that you were there – you sang at your own funeral. You always had such a beautiful singing voice, and I remember hearing…
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From Grief to Authenticity: Coming Back to Writing
In my last post, I wrote about how I stopped writing publicly last November. I claimed that the initial reason was my grief at the election of Donald Trump to a second term as President. Over time, I began to feel that if I started writing again, that writing had to change. I began to…
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Reflections on Grief After Trump’s Re-election: A Writer’s Struggle
When Donald Trump won the presidency for the second time, in November 2024, I grieved. I grieved because I believed that his re-election meant that white supremacy had prevailed. That transphobia and homophobia had prevailed. That Christian nationalism had prevailed. All these inhuman things. I use the word inhuman deliberately, because all these things are…
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Navigating Depression II: My Journey with More Antidepressants
In my last post, I wrote about my history of taking antidepressant medication. I thought it might be helpful for anyone considering whether to go that route in getting help for their mental illness. But another reason I wrote about that now is because I have just changed my medications for the first time in…
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