The Summer of 2018

For the next month or so, I want to write about the summers in my life. I have discerned that my depression is often at a low point during the summer, which could be connected to some “small-t traumas” I have experienced throughout my life during the summer. And yet, despite that, I know that … Continue reading The Summer of 2018

How is your brain today?

People sometimes ask me, "How are you doing?" or "How are you feeling?" Sometimes, of course, it's just blah blah small talk, like all of us engage in. But sometimes, people will ask me, "How are you doing?" and I know that they're asking it regarding my mental health. They're not just saying hello, they're … Continue reading How is your brain today?

Drifting Ashes

A semi-fictional account of recent encounters with both my therapist and my spiritual director. I say "semi-fictional," because it didn't really happen quite as written below. However, it is all true in another way. Perhaps I could call it a "mythical account." We got deep into it that morning. Questions of career and direction. Questions … Continue reading Drifting Ashes

Lent with the Dark Voice

The Dark Voice has been talking to me a lot lately. The Dark Voice is the name I have given to the voice inside me that has been telling me lies for most of my life, lies that I have so often believed. The Dark Voice tells me things like: You are worthless. You should … Continue reading Lent with the Dark Voice

Whatever You Decide…

I had an excellent session with my therapist a few days ago. It had been way too long since I'd seen him -- I had canceled my last appointment (in early November, I think?), and never bothered rescheduling it, because I just didn't want to feel any better. I was depressed and stewing in it. … Continue reading Whatever You Decide…

Dark Firewater (Part Two)

This is Part Two of a post I began yesterday. Click here to read Part One. The words of the fire resonated with me so deeply. I have been so depressed for the past few months. I feel like the whole year has been a year of writing, but the past few months have been … Continue reading Dark Firewater (Part Two)

Dark Firewater (Part One)

This is a pretty long post, so I'm publishing it in two parts. Here's Part One. Part Two will come tomorrow. In the woods behind my house, there sits a fire pit. I built it shortly after we moved here, and used it a lot for the first few years. Lately, it has sat idle. … Continue reading Dark Firewater (Part One)