I enjoy walking labyrinths. Labyrinths are maze-like structures that have been used as spiritual tools for centuries. There are many of them around, and I am in the habit of trying to visit a lot of them. For more information about labyrinths, check out The Labyrinth Society. Find where labyrinths are in your area at the Worldwide Labyrinth Locator.

This labyrinth is located at Calvary Episcopal Church in Summit, New Jersey.

I found this labyrinth fascinating. It was a 6-circuit medieval-style, somewhat adapted. The path was in stone bricks, and the walls in stone slabs. But what was most interesting to me was that the thickness of the walls and the path were inverted from what I’m used to. Usually the path is wide, the walls thin, like the walls are the “lines” that drew the maze. But here that was reversed. The path was the line you walked on. As I started to walk, I had the eerie feeling that I was walking along a narrow wall, trying to stay balanced, constantly a little anxious that I would slip.

The question I brought in with me was this: “Where am I missing rest in my life? Why am I so exhausted?” This was a last-minute decision. As I drove there, I was vacillating between two topics: one was this question of rest, because over the last few weeks or months, I’d been feeling so exhausted. Always so easily distracted. Never able to get my daily steps in. Sleeping more than usual, but not feeling rested. On one level, it’s a predictable seasonal thing for me – for some reason, October and November are always a time when my depression is at a peak. So maybe it’s that simple – or maybe there’s something I could do. The other question I was considering was about how I might be able to create a podcast about labyrinths, something that’s been on my mind for a few weeks.

As I walked, it turned out the two questions intersected. As I walked along what felt like the wall of the labyrinth, feeling a little off and a little confused, I wondered if I also sometimes got confused between work and rest. I thought about the way I’m often playing an idle video game in the background when I’m working or writing – would it be healthier to keep that separate? Do I never go fully into work or rest? I thought about making a podcast about labyrinths, and suddenly the thing that provided me such spiritual nourishment might become work instead.

I didn’t come to any great answer, any great insight. It all felt unsettled, uncertain, much like the experience of walking this inverted labyrinth. But it felt like I was onto something. There was more to explore. I was heading to another labyrinth.