So…Baskin-Robbins has Thirty-One flavors of ice cream, right? Well, let’s see if I can name them. I’m going to try to list 31 ice cream flavors. No Googling, no phoning a friend, no polling the audience. Let’s see how I do.

1. Vanilla
2. Chocolate
3. Strawberry
4. Rocky Road
5. Cookies ‘n’ Creme
6. Cookie Dough
7. Pistachio
8. Peanut Butter Swirl
9. Moose Tracks
10. Chocolate Chip
11. Mint Chocolate Chip
12. Black Raspberry (or is it Blue Raspberry?)
13. Does Rainbow Sherbet count as ice cream?
14. Peach
15. Peanut Butter Cup
16. Black Cherry

Umm…I’m already getting stuck. How can I not think of any other ice cream flavors? Ohh…I know. There was a place my wife and I used to go, though, in New Hope, Pennsylvania. It was called Gerenser’s, and they had the weirdest ice cream flavors. Flavors like:

17. African Violet
18. Something-something Tree Bark

Crap. I can’t think of any others. Oh, there’s Ben & Jerry’s. They have weird flavors, like:

19. Cherry Garcia
20. Chunky Monkey or something like that

What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I think of any others? I’m going to have to make them up. Here are some other ice cream flavors I think we should have:

21. Sweet Potato
22. Pretzel-vania
23. Taco Grande
24. Cap’n Crunch
25. Horseradish
26. Shittake Mushroom
27. General Tso
28. Roast Beef au jus
29. Cheez Wiz
30. Louis XV
31. Banana

Whew. There’s 31. I did it. I’m going to go celebrate with a refreshing cone of General Tso.