So I’m learning about mindfulness and meditation. The book I’m reading, Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn, just suggested that I figure out why I want to meditate. What the purpose of it is. Otherwise, it likely won’t go anywhere. So I would like to explore that here.
First, I really want to get good at being mindful. Mindfulness is, I believe, about being awake and aware of my environment, both external and internal. And it seems to me that meditation is kind of like a more intense version of mindfulness. Focusing on my breathing and nothing more, or focusing on one particular concern or thought, is a deep way of practicing concentration and awareness.
Second, I want to get in touch with my own mind in a deeper way. Just a few days ago, I was trying to meditate on a question: “Why do I always feel like I have to please people?” I have no idea if I was truly meditating or not, but what I know is that a memory from my childhood came into my mind, a memory that seems to have some connection to the question. I’m working on that with my therapist, but the point here is that I think meditation can help me connect some dots in my mind…why does this happen? Where did this come from? That sort of thing.
Third, I want to learn to better manage and accept my time. This morning in therapy, one thing we talked about is the difference between how I manage my money and my time. I am very trusting and hopeful regarding money. I have learned that God always provides, and I don’t get worked up over money issues. However, I am the opposite with time. I never feel like there’s enough; I am never comfortable with how I spend it; I am so often worried about it and obsess over it. But I think that a meditative practice could help me accept the twenty-four hours I’m given each day, and help me to see the gift there, and trust that there will always be enough for what I am called to do. That there will always be enough for what I need.
So those, I think, are the three reasons I want to work on meditating:
- to cultivate mindfulness,
- to explore my mind, and
- to come to terms with time.
That feels right to me. Now, to make it a part of my daily life…
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