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Where Have I Been? Scribbling.
Where have I been? I haven’t been around lately. I’ve been going through the motions, but not really here. I’ve been multitasking, but all the tasks are just distractions from where I really belong. And where’s that? Here. Here with me. I haven’t been here with me. Where have I been? Nearby. Not too far.…
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It’s Not Easy Seeing Green
The Dark Voice has been with me since childhood. My closest companion, my eternal shadow. It’s the part of me that hates me, that wants me to feel miserable. It tells me: You are worthless. It tells me: You are only hurting people. Above all, it tells me: You should have known better. This voice…
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Validating our Grief
So, this morning I was driving to my biweekly therapy session. Along the way I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, Not Good. The episode I heard was about grief; the host Molly gave a very thoughtful and heartfelt monologue about what grief looks like, what it feels like, and shared some very…
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Hopefully Tomorrow…
This is a shameless cross-posting from my newsletter, Biblia Luna. If you’re interested in signing up for it, a weekly look into the intersection of faith and mental illness, then just click here. A few months ago, I had the opportunity to be interviewed by Molly Jameson for her podcast Not Good. I felt at…
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This Deserving Stuff is Hard
So, as I blogged about a few days ago, I’ve been thinking and journaling about deserving since Lent began on Wednesday. I gotta tell you, this deserving stuff is hard for me. A few things have already become clear to me: First, that there is a very large, very loud part of me that feels…
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What Do I Deserve in Lent?
At my therapy session this morning, we talked about how important it was that I finally made the phone call to my doctor two weeks ago. I’m now getting physical therapy, which will hopefully help my back. (So far, nothing — but these things take time.) I shared that making that phone call was the…
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Backs and Burdens
So I’ve been having back issues lately. I know when it started. One day in October, I attended a conference, and walked around with my messenger bag on my shoulder all day. When the day ended, my back was not right. It wasn’t agony, but it was annoying, also familiar. I’ve wrenched my back maybe…
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Stir Me Up! (A Trip to the Headwaters)
A few days ago, I made another pilgrimage out to the coal country of Schuylkill County, the place where I was born. It was something of a sequel to the trip I made almost six years ago. That day, I visited Minersville, the old mining town where I spent the first four years of my…
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Have you checked out Biblia Luna?
I have begun to write a newsletter on the topic of “the intersection of faith and mental illness.” In this weekly online newsletter, I write a few things: A look at the Bible readings assigned for next Sunday in the Revised Common Lectionary (used by many mainline Protestant churches), from the standpoint of mental illness.…
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Walking to Emmaus
“What does life look like to you? How would you describe it?” My spiritual director asked me that question in the middle of a session. It wasn’t a non sequitur; although I can’t recall now what the context was, her question was absolutely germane to that context. It didn’t sound out of place or contrived…
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