How do you do it?

Every time I read a book about being Black in the United States, I become sad at the horrible way that people of color have been treated, and continue to be treated, in what is so often called "the land of the free." Every time I read an article this year about the 100th anniversary … Continue reading How do you do it?

Dark Firewater (Part Two)

This is Part Two of a post I began yesterday. Click here to read Part One. The words of the fire resonated with me so deeply. I have been so depressed for the past few months. I feel like the whole year has been a year of writing, but the past few months have been … Continue reading Dark Firewater (Part Two)

Why I Will Never Own a Gun

I have never owned a firearm. I have never fired a weapon. I don't think I've ever even touched a gun. Alright, I think I may have fired a BB-rifle when I was in cub scouts. But that's about it. Probably the initial reason why I've never owned a gun is simply because I grew up … Continue reading Why I Will Never Own a Gun

On Fragility

I was hesitant to post what I wrote about suicide yesterday. And prior to receiving all the affirming and supportive comments, I second-guessed myself. I wondered if I should have written it, if I had gone too far. If I would just upset people instead of offering something helpful. I was speaking this with my … Continue reading On Fragility

Don’t Call Me Selfish

Don't call me selfish. Now, I know that I am selfish sometimes. I can certainly be self-absorbed and self-centered. I can certainly be worried more about my own stuff some days than anybody else's. I can certainly fail to love my neighbor. But there's one piece of me that is so often vilified as selfish. … Continue reading Don’t Call Me Selfish

Snapshots of My Depression #9: Eleven Days of Hope

So, following my suicide attempt at age seventeen, I spent eleven days at First Hospital Wyoming Valley, a behavioral health facility in Wilkes-Barre. For days, I've been trying to figure out how to tell the story of those eleven days. I really don't know how to put it into a clear narrative. I think the … Continue reading Snapshots of My Depression #9: Eleven Days of Hope

Snapshots of My Depression #8: On the Way to First Hospital

This is one in a series of posts I’m calling “Snapshots of my Depression.” These are memories of times in my life when my mental illness manifested itself in one way or another. This story starts where the last one ended. I was in the Student Health Center at Muhlenberg College, thinking that I had … Continue reading Snapshots of My Depression #8: On the Way to First Hospital

Snapshots of My Depression #7: The Final Cut (Part Two)

This is one in a series of posts I’m calling “Snapshots of my Depression.” These are memories of times in my life when my mental illness manifested itself in one way or another. In my last entry, I shared the story of my first suicide attempt. This is the story of my third, and final, … Continue reading Snapshots of My Depression #7: The Final Cut (Part Two)

Snapshots of My Depression #6: The Final Cut (Part One)

This is one in a series of posts I’m calling “Snapshots of my Depression.” These are memories of times in my life when my mental illness manifested itself in one way or another. In the early part of the 20th century, there was a trolley that ran from Hazleton to Wilkes-Barre. When I grew up … Continue reading Snapshots of My Depression #6: The Final Cut (Part One)

Snapshots of My Depression #5: The Poem in the Wallet

A big part of my depression has always involved a feeling that I was hurting others, that I was thoughtless, self-centered, and incapable of changing. There were many times, particularly in high school, that I felt this so strongly that I had suicidal ideation. I remember thinking that that made me a unique sort of … Continue reading Snapshots of My Depression #5: The Poem in the Wallet