The Summer of 2016

For the month of August, I am looking back on the summers of my life, attempting to find some patterns within them to explain why it seems that my depression tends to get worse during the summer. I'm also looking at each summer to find some insight or reflection that can speak to who I … Continue reading The Summer of 2016

Fifty-One

I remember being a kindergartener in Mrs. Collins' class. It was 1980-81. I was in the PM kindergarten class in the almost brand-new wing of Drums Elementary School. I loved being in elementary school. I learned so many things. I grew so much. I remember learning our letters in kindergarten, and that there was an … Continue reading Fifty-One

Eighteen

The number eighteen, I'm told, is important in Judaism. The reason for this is because words in Hebrew have numerical values, and the Hebrew word for life, "chai", has a numerical value of eighteen. Looking back on my own life, the number eighteen can easily symbolize "life" for me as well. The year I was eighteen, which spanned my … Continue reading Eighteen

Three

When I was young, I had an eidetic (photographic) memory. This stopped around age 12, but prior to that, I was able to memorize just about anything I read or saw. This is probably why I did quite well at spelling bees, and why my grades in elementary school were always so good. Still to … Continue reading Three

A Million Unknown Soldiers (poem, 1995)

This is a poem I wrote over twenty years ago. I was in college at the time. Oddly, it seems as though that younger me wrote it to...well, me today. You walk alone down your tourniquet life Binding yourself with unaided strife A knothole to peep through to an unimpressed world The kaleidoscope comfort of … Continue reading A Million Unknown Soldiers (poem, 1995)

Snapshots of My Depression 1: “That’s a Lousy Trick to Play on a Manic Depressive”

This is the first in a series of posts I'm calling "Snapshots of my Depression." These are memories of times in my life when my mental illness manifested itself in one way or another. First off, I want to apologize to anyone with bipolar disorder. I know that "manic depressive" is an archaic and somewhat … Continue reading Snapshots of My Depression 1: “That’s a Lousy Trick to Play on a Manic Depressive”